Haru's Hangover Caused Misadventure
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: [By Kakuri, 4 Koikitten] A drunk Haru uses Akito's master key to annoy Kisa the Gangsta. But little does he know, Kisa and Rin are planning his eventual death. Will he become sober before it's too late?


**A/N: **

**Hello… it's Kakuri-chan again… with another story for one of my sisters friends. **

**This time it's Koikitten… **

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything. **

**Kisa is a bit OOC… but it's okay, I guess. **

The clouds spewed down pellets of rain. They smashed against the window heavily enough to give the Cow a steaming headache. He moaned loudly, as he rolled over in his bed, unable to get to sleep. Of course, he shouldn't really be sleeping at 3pm in the afternoon. It was obvious Haru had a HANG OVER.

"Damn this," Haru damned, jumping out of his bed with the strength of an ox. "I'm going for a walk!"

Now, Haru gets lost very easily. You probably already know that from all the misadventures he's had in the past. Anyway, he decided to trek around the woods that surrounded Main House.

"Mom! I'm going out!" Yelled Haru in a very American way. Haru's Mum was offended.

"Excuse me! Say Mum, please. I will not tolerate American language in this house hold!"

"THEN I'LL GO OVER TO KISA'S AND SAY IT THEN!"

Haru decided to go to Kisa's.

"Hey Kisa," Haru said as he unlocked the front door of her house with Akito's master key he found in her knickers which he found on Shigure's washing line. "What's going on?"

Haru didn't realize that Kisa had become a GANGSTA.

"j00 (UMM1N 1N2 M4H H0U53 L1K3 D4T 15 V3RY UNR35P3(7FUL!" She explained in an gangsta as she could. She wasn't a very good gangsta though.

"Well, so what?" Haru asked normally. "I wanted to visit you. But obviously you are chucking a pussy fit, like Kyo would. So I will leave. Go hate me with Rin!"

Haru's words slurred slightly with the whole hangover thing. Kisa rolled her gangsta eyes.

"W4T3VR" She yelled as he walked out the door and into the previously mentioned woods. He would go and find some berries to eat, now.

Meanwhile, while that was happening, Kisa decided to go over to Rin's cage, where she was currently being held hostage.

"Rin…" Kisa whispered, not gangsta like. "I need your help,"

Rin's bald head shot up. Akito decided to chop the rest of her hair off too, by the way.

"Let me out!" She hissed. "I'll help you then!"

Kisa, being a smart little tiger, had nicked Haru's master key in his state of drunkenness. She waved it in front of the Horse and unlocked the door silently. It swung open and she stepped out.

"I hate Haru now," Kisa growled like a tiger. "So I want to set some traps in the woods for him so he gets ultra lost and never comes back,"

"Yes!" Rin bellowed, rubbing her hands together mischievously. "And we can use Akito's weapons and mass distraction!"

So off they went to attack Haru.

In the mean time, Haru was already fairly lost. He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned around. He could see three trees. Or was it six? He couldn't tell. He heard some laughter in a bush.

"Hello fairies!" He hollered. "I want you!"

But it was really Kisa and Rin. They had set trap number ONE.

"Hey, what's this?" Haru bent down to look at a shiny object on the ground. Kisa had told Rin that drunk people are attracted to shiny things. They had thrown a 2 dollar coin on the ground and glued it there. Haha on Haru.

"Grr!" Haru growled at the coin as he tried again and again to pick it up. "You naughty fairy! Give me your secret money!"

In the end, Haru gave up. But in the bush, Kisa and Rin were rolling around like gangsta's, laughing their chubby little asses off.

Haru continued to walk.

He came across a packet of skittles in a net. Smiling at the score, he stepped into the net to reach them.

"Tug!" Came a voice from behind a tree. Haru turned around, but it was too late. He'd already been swept off his feet! Dangling in mid air like a tail on a random animal, he swung back and forth.

"Argh!" He said, like a Scotsman. "I'm a pirate!"

So he sang a little pirates song.

"I'm a pirate, here me argh! I too time with Ki-isa! Do it all day and do it all night! I give little boys a fright! Argh!"

Rin rolled her eyes and turned to Kisa.

"Chop him down," Rin sighed. "We'll set up the next trap as he struggles with the netting. This one shall be the last… but the best!"

"Yeah," Kisa agreed. "It'll be best because we got the idea from the Simpsons!"

"Hmm," Rin said, rubbing her chin. "We don't own the Simpsons."

And so off they went.

Haru kicked his legs and the net went flying. He wondered what was going on. Suddenly feeling sort of soberer than previously, he continued to walk to a spooky old lake. He sat by it and ate dirt, because he had no food.

"I'd prefer grass," Haru stated. "But there is none around."

Suddenly, a huge mound of grass appeared in the middle of the lake. Haru stared. He must still be drunk, or something.

"Huh?"

He took his jeans off and wadded into the lake, wandering closer and closer to the grass. Then, the grass moved, just as he was about to get his mooing little teeth into it.

"Damn!" He screeched, going slightly Black. He began to swim after it, but forgot he didn't know how to swim. Haru drowned and died.

Kisa and Rin jumped out of the lake and did a joy dance. They'd killed Haru! They fell so damn proud of them selves, it wasn't funny. But then they felt bad. They'd killed Haru.

"Maybe we should bring him back to life, so Koi-san can keep him under her bed and eat away all the stuff she hides under there," Rin suggested, because the story is for Koi-san.

"Yeah! Then we'll never have to see him again, but at least we wont have the guilt that we killed someone."

And so, Haru was soled away in trade of a magical bean to a boy named Jack. Jack's mother wasn't very happy with him for trading the cow he got from a weird girl that she got from a farm, that she got from a sweet kid from Japan, but hey.

That's another story.

END.

**A/N: **

**Thank you for reading… hope you like it, Koikitten…**

**Too bad you didn't get Haru... in the end.**


End file.
